Zeno’s Revenge

I had this professor back in college.

I guess I grew up in a time when we realized not all professors were very bright.

Maybe I grew up since.

Anyway, this professor gave us an assignment to answer Zeno’s Paradox.

Here’s how it goes.

Zeno asked, “How long does it take an arrow to reach the target?”

Old Zeno was a Greek.

Philosophers love to answer their own questions.

“Oh, I know,” said Zeno. “Stay with me now. The arrow can never get to the target, because before it gets to the target it must travel half way to the target. And before it gets half way to the target it must get one fourth the way to the target and before it gets one fourth the way to the target,” and so forth. “Therefore it can never reach the target.”

Legend has it Zeno didn’t just answer his own questions. He invented Bureaucracy.

I applied quantum physics.

I said,

“If distance is composed of an infinite number of undefined points and we posit the ability of an arrow to cross one single point, then as all points are identical the arrow having crossed one point has crossed them all and reaches the target instantaneously.”

The professor gave me a D minus and reprimanded me for not comprehending the assignment.

I gave the professor a paradox of my own.

“What’s the difference between your ass and a hole in the ground?”